Friday, 10 June 2016

The Rise and Fall of the English Major Part I

So, update on what's been going on in my life- finished editing the newest draft of my friend's novel. I'm putting my English degree to its best use, by becoming a book editor! Sadly, the majority of people equate editors with proofreaders. While I am a stickler for grammar, most of my editorials involve story structure, character development, and backhanded compliment- there's very little on the actual prose. Still, it's a way to say to myself “those three years of university weren't a waste of time”. However, I have another reason for saying that getting an English degree was worth it.
Let me get this out of the way now- I don't think you could ever make a quantitative argument that a degree majoring in English at a New Zealand university is worth it, dollars spent in tuition fees balanced by a fixed income when you contrast that degree with earnings from other Arts degrees. I am aware that many, many people see English degrees as just a hobby and a way for you to be able to more eloquently explain why you're on unemployment benefit (har har, that joke is as fresh as day-old sushi). However, we force students to go through English education throughout high school all the way up to Year 12. Why? To teach kids how to read? No. At age 5, most of them can do that. So why do we teach English?
Well, that turns out to be a difficult question to answer with many reasons why but I'm going to give the answer that I think is the easiest to understand. First off, there is such a thing as emotional intelligence. There is skill in being able to recognize, interpret, resist, and exploit the emotions of yourself and others. Don't believe me? Consider times when you've done things impulsively, or done things you've regretted, or acted in a way that was self-destructive (smoking, binge-drinking, gambling). We are creatures of emotion, and we need to be aware of this (teenagers, I feel, are particularly lacking in this type of intelligence).
So, how do you teach someone what to do when they're unbearably sad? How do you teach someone to understand that they have an insatiable, irrational desire for something? Well, make them read books, watch films, write stories so they can have experiences that aren't their own, and put these feelings into words which can be communicated to others. I might not know what it's like to lose a parent, but I've seen Forrest Gump and (spoiler) the titular mother's character dies, and I was very sad. Although it will be much sadder when one of my parents actually dies, I will have, in some small way, have experienced this before and recognize it for what it is.
So, why do we need to recognize our own emotions? Because we aren't in complete control of them, and if we let them, our emotions can spiral out of control and leave us broken. This is why we have art- because art isn't always supposed to make us happy, but make us feel something.
I suppose I'm writing this because I've been feeling down lately.
This is nothing new. The end of semester is always hopelessly anticlimactic to me because I always imagine it to be full of parties and drunken shenanigans, but I have come to accept that it is more than likely stressed cramming for exams and mid-winter blues. As a postgraduate student, I don't have exams- I just have that gnawing feeling that my Master's degree is never going to pay for itself. I suppose lately what's happening is that I've been feeling ennui- that feeling of restlessness, boredom, frustration of the tediousness of life. Incidentally Sylvia Plath wrote one of my favourite lines of poetry about ennui- “tea leaves thwart those who court catastrophe”.
However, I started this blog in order to write down some of my feelings (dear god, if I ever end up famous for becoming a bestselling novelist or the first person to ever overdose on cappucinos, please don't include the majority of my scribbles in my complete biography). What else am I feeling? Tired, I suppose. Annoyed with myself at being unable to do any serious writing of my new play. I tend to subscribe to the John Green method of writing- just allow yourself to write terribly, and eventually the few granules of quality will amass as you refine your work. I like John Green, and I like his ouvre, but that is not really how I work.

How do I work? Well, this isn't exactly a proper answer but the usual response would be “as little as possible”.

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