Tuesday, 3 May 2016

The Last Tin of Spaghetti

A little insight into the mind of a trainee teacher. As part of our practicum (basically an unpaid internship at a school), we were mandated to write journal entries of our experiences to compile in our teaching portfolios. I wrote this about ten months ago near the middle of my second practicum. Respect teachers.

In many shipwrecks, survivors are often occupying deserted islands as castaways with nothing. I cannot recall the details but do remember two men who, after losing their shipmates and vessel to a devastating storm, made their way to an uninhabited island. With only each other for company, they soon found that their fishing skills without equipment was negligible, their supply of cigarettes quickly ran out, and that they did not enjoy the nightlife of carnivorous insects. While I do not feel particularly seaworthy, I submit to understanding these men in regards to their feeling nothing. As I write this, it is exam week for my school which means that the seniors have gone off of leave. Through the luck of the draw, I have no scheduled junior classes and so while I informally observe classes, I don’t have any grit to do while the senior students are away. More closely, as I write this, it is actually night time and I am in the middle of writing lesson plans by the light of the moon and a computer monitor, with my sole companion- my last tin of spaghetti.
It has been a tough week, faced with the ever-edging reality that soon this career will soon be ignited and I will move from the unpaid intern to something quite startling- a professional. For indeed, a teacher is a professional and the more this week has gone on, the more I have grappled with this fact. I don't mean to gripe about Epsom Campus as if this were a running gag of a sitcom, but the staff there often talk about how teachers go to work to change lives and instil a sense of wonder in students. My sense of wonder is how teachers with this mentality survive the first five years on the job. Certainly, the variety of achievement that practicum demands have reminds me of the Hegelian master-slave dynamic (or, more cynically, of the prisoner-warden relationship). It has become my practice as of late to say to inert students “at least give me the courtesy of pretending to work” as opening their exercise books is at least a bigger step to the possibility of studying than a closed book. While teachers have a huge onus on the learning experience, I feel like some professional distance is required when students refuse to work and no amount of coaxing or pedagogical rationale will change that fact. We're teachers. We're not Jedi (I actually looked this one up and the plural of those heroic lightsaber-wielding freedom fighters is the same as the singular).
One of the Graduating Teacher Standards is “demonstrate commitment to and strategies for promoting and nurturing the physical and emotional safety of learners” and I am pleased to see that I have jumped another hoop in this puppy parade of assessment. During one of my informal observations, I spied a mutual loathing (adulterated loathing) between two adolescents which eventually flared into an emotional meltdown for one of them. Although it was my first time in the class, I was quickly able to diffuse the victory party the bully had thrown by sending him out of the classroom. Talking with him, I discerned that he engaged in such a conflict for no good reason other than that he saw it as fun, and upon the bare facts being laid out, it was something he was embarrassed about. The Church of Neo-Classical in Doctor Who don't have a devil- just the things that men do.
Another GTS I remember hooping is “demonstrate proficiency in oral and written language (Māori and/or English), in numeracy and in ICT relevant to their professional role”. The former is quite a boring story- as a threat to a few students who wouldn't do formal writing, I would teach them math (I know, I know- I shouldn't use one subject as punishment for another). Following through with my bluff, I laid out the Euclidean proof of Pythagorean theorem, and the use of triangular numbers in calculating two-point connections in polygons. Perhaps not a conventional piece of evidence for the GTS, but I must say, it does count (sorry-not-sorry, as the kids say). The ICT came in the fact that I was able to use the DVD function in the class projector while the reliever teacher was confused about it. Again, a weak show (but you haven't come here to hire me as an ICT teacher unless there was an ICT Teacher conference in Dunedin, and there's been a cataclysmic disaster in Dunedin).
A third GTS (I promise, this is probably the last one I talk about) is “demonstrate respect for te reo Māori me ngā tikanga-ā-iwi in their practice”. My practicum school had, in its tutor group time, the daily notices (yellow pages in the school) read out. One such notice was a scholarship being advertised solely to Maori students. “That's just racist” says the trio of white students who I genuinely enjoy talking with during the form time. I then seemed to be possessed by the Spirit of Educational Professional Studies 612A/B, and went on a rant about affirmative action, achievement equality, historical disadvantages that Maori students have had. The matter was dropped, though if it sunk in is impossible to prove.
Finally, I hesitate to go back to this well but I would like to talk about the fact that I am still living very much a threadbare existence as a student teacher who is unpaid and still with expenses like rent and food and power. Okay, maybe it seems stupid but I like a roof, and meals, and light when it goes dark. “Get a job perhaps” said my Visiting Lecturer the last school I was at. My answer was to bite my tongue, because the response would likely have been “oh, why didn't I think of that? You are a clever person. I see why they made you a lecturer!” It did, in fact, cross my mind to get some work this year to tide me over financially but I already have a job. I am at school for six hours every day and doing university assessments or school prep for three more. If you think I have energy for another job on top of this one, you must think I have a superhuman reserve of it. So, like the castaways I mentioned at the beginning, with seemingly nothing, I must conjure up a rather impressive existence. I must metaphorically turn palm fronds into beach hammocks, stones and sticks into fishing spears, and small twigs and hay into a fire in which to send smoke signals (SOS). This marooned status has, I know, been entirely voluntary, and so I posit that this should only prove to demonstrate even more that I desperately want to be a teacher for this miserly living is easily something I could have opted out from for something that might have fed me. I shall proudly write my lesson plans and university assignments by the light of the moon with my last tin of spaghetti for a friend, though like most castaway stories, I'm probably going to have to eat him.


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