Six Degrees of Separation

Lately I've been feeling down, upset, manic, morose, hyperactive, restless, as if there's a party going on and I'm not there. This is quite a common feeling for me, that if I'm not socializing at every moment I could possibly be doing so, that I am missing out. We only have so many days on this planet, and I would rather spend as many of them as possible with people in whose company I enjoy. Lately I've been having some trouble doing this. It's like there's always a party going on in a room of my house, one that I would be quite happy visiting. Recently, it's been feeling like the door handle to the room broke off in my hand, and I'm not quite sure what to do next.

Anyway, moving on...

I have an obsession with higher education. I love university culture, university lore (and folklore), even the crazy bureaucratic nonsense (for example, any student ID that is older than two years need the photograph retaken). I don't know why, but I love it. Recently I decided to finish my tenure at university, partly because there is little more university can do for me professionally unless I decide to switch careers, but more importantly, I feel like if I don't leave now I probably never, ever will. Could I imagine staying on for a PhD, giving tutorials and lectures, writing for academic journals and textbooks, wearing tweed and-? I'm actually exciting myself too much right now. The point is, I've been here long enough to know that it's now or never.

I think I will always have this obsession though, and an offshoot of this weird obsession is another weird obsession: I go crazy when I find out about the degrees of fictional characters. This probably means nothing to no one, but man, it interests the hell out of me- and now, here are some of my favourites (I've roughly ranked them):

Andrew “Andy” Dwyer from Parks and Recreation: P (Pass Grade) in Intro to Women Studies from the University of Indiana, funded by the “Ron Swanson Scholarship” (note that this same institution would later honour his former boss Leslie Knope by renaming their campus library after her)

Lorelai Gilmore from Gilmore Girls: Associate of Arts (AA) in business.

Jeff Winger from Community: Bachelor of Law (LL.B) (presumably, never actually stated) from Colombia (the country, not the university), Bachelor's degree from Greendale Community College

Amy Santiago from Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Bachelor of Arts in Art History

Elizabeth “Liz” Lemon from 30 Rock: Bachelor of Arts (BA), in Theatre Technology. This degree is both unaccredited, and still has an outstanding student loan.

Jaye Tyler from Wonderfalls: Bachelor of Arts (BA) (presumably) Philosophy degree from Brown University.

Victor Frankenstein from Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus: Bachelor of Science (presumably), majoring in chemistry from the University of Ingolstadt.

Sherlock Holmes from Sherlock: Bachelor of Science in chemistry (Molly Hooper describes him in The Sign of Three as a “graduate chemist”). The more research I do on this (looking at the original stories) suggests that it was almost certainly either Oxford or Cambridge, and that Holmes has a cursory knowledge of Latin probably because all university students in England had to study Latin at that time.

Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother: Architecture, degree status unknown from Wesleyan University (however, as he later lectured Architecture at NYU, this suggests an MA at the very least).

Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother: Unknown, degree status unknown, from MIT (Magicians' Institute of Teaneck)

Marshall Erikson from How I Met Your Mother: pre-law from Wesleyan University, law school (institution unknown)

Scott Lang from Ant-Man: Master's Degree (presumably Master of Science) in Electrical Engineering (institution unknown)

Jimmy McGill/Saul Goodman from Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul: Juris Doctor (JD) from the University of American Samoa, Master of Arts (MA) in Political Science from the University of American Samoa)

Phillip “Phil” Humphrey Dunphy from Modern Family: unknown degree, unknown major (possibly real estate or theater- Haley at one point claims that when he was 20, he wanted to be a professional magician) from Fresno State University (go bulldogs!)

Claire Dunphy from Modern Family: unknown degree, majored in Marketing (unknown if she completed her degree), likely from a different institution than her husband's (Claire does not know if the FSU mascot are bulldogs or bullfrogs).

The Doctor from Doctor Who: MD from the University of Glasgow (in the year 1888). Attended the Prydonian Academy on Gallifrey, passing with 51% on the second attempt (unknown if this was a degree).

Flynn Carsen from The Librarian film series/The Librarians TV series: (12 Bachelors, 6 Masters, and 4 PhDs), including four in Egyptology, a PhD (or two) in Comparative Religions, and a PhD in Cryptology, 1 degree of unknown status (presumably all from the same institution which is unnamed by located in New York, possibly NYU). In one episode of The Librarians he claims to hold the record in the most PhDs.

Dr. Hannibal Lecter from Hannibal: Medical Degree (MD) from John Hopkins University. Hannibal Rising suggests that he did not need a bachelor's degree to attend John Hopkins which is unusual for an MD. He would have had to later retrain to be a psychiatrist but this degree is unknown.

Frederick Chilton, PhD from Hannibal: Abel Gideon describes Chilton as “Frederick Chilton, PhD” to imply that Chilton has no medical degree. However, Chilton is stated to have been a surgeon at one stage, making it almost impossible for him not to have an MD.

Will Graham from Hannibal: The novel Red Dragon states that Graham attended grad school at George Washington University, majoring in forensic science. Enrolling in graduate programmes suggests that Graham has an undergraduate degree.

Indiana Jones Jr from Indiana Jones: Presumably a PhD (he is called Dr. Jones, and only MD and PhD graduates are allowed to acceptably stylize themselves as “Dr.”), likely in Archeology (institution unknown).

I might do a more comprehensive list at another stage. This was nothing but fun!